for you, i will wait.

2012-01-09T12:47:00.003+08:00

Repentance

I really don't know what to do now. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have wanted you in the first place. I'm sorry that I put you through this. What can I do to make you feel better? Somebody help me.

2011-10-28T20:52:00.001+08:00

Bad boy

Never, ever get emotionally attached.

2011-09-30T13:48:00.002+08:00

Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

I was reading the blog posts I've submitted ever since the creation of this blog in 2006. It's been such a long time.

How many times have I fallen in love? And out of it? How many friends have I made? And lost?

We were young and brave, nothing was too much to handle. We made the slightest things sound like the end of the world but at the end of it, we simply get over it and then move on.

This is really one thing I learnt over my teenage years: Life goes on, no matter how tough it gets.

Today is the last day of September 2011, 3/4 of the year has gone by. I could safely say that as we reach (almost) the end of another year, we've grown so much again.

Every person that you meet at some point in your life will teach you something, they always do! No matter if it's something good or bad, you learn something. You might meet a good mentor who'll teach you something important for you to face the challenges in life. You might meet this friend who's going to teach you how those drugs and inhalants are going to make you very happy. But every person you meet in life, every incident in life was meant to be a lesson, that's how life is.

What have you learnt this year?

2011-08-25T16:05:00.002+08:00

Starstruck

Most of the time, when caught between doing what's right and what's easy, I choose the easy way out. Sometimes, I just wished I was able to make wise decisions.

How long will this last? I don't even know.

2011-06-09T16:31:00.003+08:00

FUCK!

Argh! I was supposed to blog about dogs but here's a short (and angry) one..

Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem! Don't make your problem my problem!

ARGH FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!

I fucking hate it when my plans are ruined because of some people who don't matter to me. I fucking hate it when people make empty promises. I fucking hate it when I can't do anything about all this shit that I hate! I fucking hate it that it's illegal to take a gun and shoot some motherfuckers in the head!!!

2011-05-24T12:12:00.002+08:00

Different kind of love

How do photographers capture such moments that make me want to keep all of them in my house?! I really really want to keep these beautiful creatures in my house next time!

Omg those eyes..

Yay! Chin rub!

Marble eyes!

I surrender!

Heh heh Charlie's Angels!

Awww love~

Cuddling!

Next post will be on the handsome dogs I saw online that motivates me to work hard so I can keep them in a big house next time!

And friends, I'm fine. I really am :)

2011-04-14T21:07:00.002+08:00

Between giving up and hoping things would change

I thought it didn't hurt anymore. I was wrong. It still fucking hurts.

I really need a distraction.

2011-03-13T19:31:00.003+08:00

Walk with me

Sometimes you just can't find the right words to describe how you feel.

I'm thankful for these pictures and quotes that express exactly how complicated and messed up I feel inside.

I miss you so much.

2011-03-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过笑着和你挥挥手

我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过笑着和你挥挥手

如果有一天我们有缘在见
你会不会想起说过的永远

倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过笑着和你挥挥手

2011-03-09T21:34:00.002+08:00

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?

"I deserve better"

Keep telling myself that and hope I finally believe it.

Time will not heal everything but it will definitely fade the pain. As long as it does, I don't care how long it takes.

I'm on a hiatus from love.

2011-02-25T18:15:00.009+08:00

Lessons

I think I've grown so much in the last 3 weeks, and I'm certainly not talking about my weight here. Actually, I think I grew overnight.

Maintaining a relationship doesn't just come from one side, it takes two to make things happen. No one should always be giving and no one should always be taking. Be it giving or taking, both should benefit from the relationship if a balance is obtained. People get tired of giving all the time, and people start taking the relationship for granted if all he or she does is take. Although people give without hoping for anything in return, we should not let someone go through the torture of feeling being taken for granted. If you love someone, say it today.

Things don't always go the way you want them to and sometimes all you want to do is to throw your tantrum at everyone around you. However, you will soon realize that at such times, it's always those who love you the most who are around you. So in the end, you end up hurting these wonderful people that care for and love you. The next time, when things don't go your way and you're about to throw a bitch fit, open your eyes and take a look at your loved ones, who're standing right beside you. Don't let your frustration and rage blind you. These people are there for a reason, not for you to vent your frustrations on, but to stand by you and hold your hand when you need help. They are there simply because of love, and they deserve to be treated with the same or even more love from you.

Insecurities are little rocks in your path that obstruct you from moving further, be it in love or in life. If you're not going to believe what you have, and make full use of it, who is going to believe you? How will things happen if you cannot even trust yourself and your loved ones? Take that leap of faith today. If you love someone, trust him or her. Even if in the end, that person betrays your trust, it is one lesson learnt. Life is an entire series of lessons, isn't it? What we must remember, is not to doubt, is not to question the ones whom we have placed our trust in, but to remind ourselves not to repeat past mistakes.

I am thankful for the people I have met in my life.

For those who have left me, you were never meant for me in the first place and I wish you all the best in your future.

For those who are doubting me, thank you for that because you have ignited the flame on my ego and I am going to prove myself.

For those who believe in me, thank you for that because you don't know the kind of strength it gives me to pull through every single day and taking up every single challenge that comes in my way.

And to You, thank you for fighting for me.

Thank you for teaching me some of life's most important lessons.

Thank you for not giving in to me, forcing me to be the grown up that I actually am.

Be forewarned, I will still have my bitch moments every once in a while (like 初一十五 hahahaha!) but I just want you to know that I never want us to end.

I don't know where we're heading but I hope we go far.

I love you, Sweet

♥

2011-02-24T23:38:00.003+08:00

In the end, it doesn't even matter to you

Sometimes all I need is assurance.

Sometimes I just want you to chase after me when I walk away.

Sometimes I just want you to turn my face and kiss me when I say "I'm not crying".

Sometimes I just want you to take my hand and tell me you'll love me no matter what.

Sometimes, I wished I had the courage to tell you all these. All the time, actually. But I know I'll never do it.

2011-02-21T10:47:00.002+08:00

Karma bites

"You'll never know what you've got till it's gone", truth is, they always knew, but they never thought they would lose it.

There are certain things and people in life we always take for granted. Just because they're there now, doesn't mean they will be forever. In life, we all want to know we're needed. We all want to know we're important. There will be times when we finally feel like we're redundant in someone's life and then we decide to make the most painful decision - to leave. That's when people start appreciating us, start wanting us back but it's simply too late. It's not about being vengeful or petty. It's about teaching you a lesson and hoping you'll not do this to anyone else and start appreciating all you have around you now.

To my dear girl, it hurt me so much to see you cry. It hurt me so much to see you hurting and yet there was practically noting I could do to make you feel better. I hope that you have learnt this lesson, no doubt it was a painful one. I just want you to know that I will be here for you, in whatever ways I can, and that you're not alone. Like I said, I would walk by your side if you stand up and move on. I would sit beside you and give you tissue paper if you decide to just stay and wallow in self-pity. Either way, I'm not leaving.

Appreciate the little things in life, for one day, you may look back and realize they were the big things.

2011-02-17T10:51:00.003+08:00

Will do it for Love

2011, I shall..

1) Have lesser !@#$%^&* out of my mouth

2) Control my bad temper

3) Be less demanding

4) Be more understanding

5) Be more gentle/demure

Aiyo tougher than running 2.4km in 5 minutes.

But I will try! I will!

By the way, bro just enlisted today. Hope he copes well in Tekong :( I miss him already!

2011-02-11T10:04:00.002+08:00

Rewind

It's been a week since you left and I still cannot get the whole incident off my mind. The image of you on the floor, pale and lifeless just tears me apart. I wished it was all a bad dream. Daddy has time and time again explained to me that you will leave us some day, it just didn't occur to me you would leave so suddenly.

Over the past week, and this morning, in fact, I kept thinking about you.

Did it hurt badly when you fell?

Were you struggling to stay alive?

Were you calling for help but no one heard?

Did you feel angry, frustrated and scared as you slowly faded away?

It pains me to think that the answer to all these might be "Yes".

What if I had spent more time with you last year and not stayed at my ex's?

What if I had told you earlier how much I appreciated your care and concern all these years?

What if I had gone to your house for visiting on that fateful day, 2nd day of Lunar New Year?

So many "what if"s, but we only live once, and I have lost every chance to do all these.

I wished I told you, that you were the grandma I never had, and I love you.

2011-02-03T22:18:00.002+08:00

Everything reminds me of you

I fucking miss you. I really cannot emphasize more.

2011-02-01T16:48:00.002+08:00

Schipperke (pronounced skih-puhr-kee) is a small Belgian breed of dog that originated in the early 16th century. It has been a long informal debate of whether it is a spitz or sheepdog.

Known for a stubborn, mischievous, and headstrong temperament, the Schipperke is sometimes referred to as the "little black fox", the "Tasmanian black devil", or the "little black devil". They are naturally curious and high-energy dogs and require ample exercise and supervision. Schipperkes are very smart and independent; and sometimes debate listening to owners, instead choosing to do whatever benefits them the most. First-time dog owners would be well advised to familiarize themselves with the breed prior to purchase. Schipperkes require training and a secure, fenced-in space to run. They are formidable barkers and can be aggressive with other dogs.

So like you, HAHAHAHAHA!!! My pet :) If only I could tag you in Facebook. But oh well, seems like I can't so I have decided to deactivate my Facebook account.

I feel so uncomfortable now, knowing I can no longer post my status and pictures on Facebook freely, without having those fucked up eyes spying on me, commenting and stirring shit.

2011-01-23T01:12:00.002+08:00

The DJ got us falling in love again~~~

I'M IN LOVE!

I'M IN LOVE.................................................

WITH MYSELF!

Hahaha! Okay lah don't scold me!

Aiya. Sibeh sian, sibeh a lot of things to do. Sick some more. Fucking fever, flu, sore throat and cough attack at the same time! Fucking hell, might as well just kill me.

I miss you, you know? You know?! :( Times like this, I really wish I had someone my own to hold. Or rather, someone my own to hold me :(

2011-01-10T16:03:00.000+08:00

Foundation only, already so chui. Totally naked face? WOAH. See no evil.

I think it's not only me, but everyone in my class is going crazy from all these assignments and projects. Lack of sleep, dark circles, bad skin, migraines, bodyaches.. The list goes on. I wouldn't say that this is something new to us, considering the fact that we have been bombarded with such training since Year One.

But seriously?!?!?!!!? This semester is madness. Mad-fucking-ness. Just one freaking project of starting a bloody co-operative is enough to drive us crazy. It's seriously fucked up because hello, we're in the Diploma of Business and Social Enterprise, not Business and Co-operatives. Half the time, THAT LECTURER doesn't even know what he's saying, and he's not even trained to teach us about co-operatives. Every time I see my classmates consulting him, I just think to myself, "Why do you guys even bother asking someone who cannot teach this shit for nuts?"

I can't wait till all these are over, then we can finally just find some place to chill and have a drink. Oh wait, there's internship. Fuck our lives.

2011-01-01T16:45:00.002+08:00

My new year resolutions for 2011?

1) Study hard and do well for exams!

2) Do well for internship!

3) Spend more time with family and friends!

4) Stay healthy! (I think this one tonight already fail. KNN)

5) Earn more money and have some savings, for once. HAHAHA!

Last but not least, in fact, the most important one!!

6)Keep my heart to myself, protect it well and break the ones belonging to those who try to take my heart.

I shall achieve the highest level of self-protection.

Happy New Year 2011 Bitches! HUAT AH!

2010-12-19T14:00:00.004+08:00

Capturing Moments Forever

My life in the month after you left :)

Dearest 老公 & 老婆! ♥

Impeccable Leap!

Thanks ah, GGH :P

老婆老婆! ♥

Narmy and Tania Baby came to Mizu to visit me! Love you girls!

I don't think any words can justify the friendship between us anymore :) She's like the elder sister I never had!

Seng's Birthday @ Powerhouse, heehee! ;)

QiQi~ ♥ Favourite party girl who can actually have HTHTs with me!

Our first maxi dress and same shoes! We're so loving, cannot tahan. HAHA!

Ah Di's Birthday @ Doll House! ;)

我会过得很好... 你要好好照顾自己，知道吗？别让我担心...

2010-12-13T11:35:00.001+08:00

Playing with fire.

I look so fucking ridiculous camwhoring with my eye mask on! :P

Champion, paper in less that 3 hours and here I am doing my daily eye mask and not studying.

But you know what, after the damned paper, it's the holidays! *cues confetti* Unfortunately, school has to start on my birthday, WHAT A BITCH. Anyway, friends, don't buy presents hor, since no one special to celebrate with, no parties then! But you can give me $$$$ okay thank you! :D

(Today's Hideto's birthday, heehee! Darling please bless me during the paper!)

2010-12-10T17:26:00.002+08:00

Breaking Point.

I've held it in for too long, way too long.

I need to release it all.

2010-12-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

When it all ceased to exist

New hair, brown with red highlights, chio to the max, thanks to Doris.

I feel like changing my blogskin, maybe I should. A new start right?

Did my second ink last night, power. Love it, thanks to Kai. Pictures up soon, when Kai the lazy (but very busy) bum finally uploads the pictures. My back's fucking sore now, but then again, nothing beats what I feel inside. Okay, let's not get all depressed.

I've been studying, working, studying, working *repeat*

Which means I've been studying, drinking, studying, drinking *repeat*

What is my life becoming? What have I turned myself into?

I don't even know what's the date today. So much for starting afresh. I'm like living my life aimlessly.

What does not kill me, Makes me stronger.. I think it leaves a fucking scar which gets ripped apart every time I'm reminded of you.

Okay this post is so pointless. Fuck.

2010-11-24T19:43:00.002+08:00

爱，请问怎么走？

一时的冲动，造成一生的遗憾。

一时的固执，造成一生的后悔。

人；往往在表面上看起来坚强，不受生命里的挫折影响。不让生命里的小人打倒，不让自己的恐惧阻拦自己在生命中前进。然而，人；往往都是在看起来最坚强的时候，内心却是最脆弱的。

在日常生活中，我们往往都忽略了这些人，这些每日全副武装地面对每一天的人。这些卸下伪装之后，内心空虚寂寞的人。这些时时刻刻都需要一点鼓励的人，这些在每一天都向往有人在身边搀扶自己的人。这些每晚都希望有人把自己搂在温暖的怀里睡觉的人。

仔细瞧瞧，我已成为这样的人。卸下伪装，心还是痛的。

然而，我不会放弃自己。我不会害怕别人拆穿我的伪装。我将与我的伪装勇敢地面对每一天的挑战。直到有一天，遇到对的人把我的伪装卸掉，成为在我生命搀扶着我的人。

原本明天就是我们在一起的第十一个月，我不会因此而流泪。我还是会感谢我们曾经拥有的美好时光。我爱你。

2010-11-21T19:49:00.002+08:00

What happened to future?

Going to bed alone.

Waking up alone.

Going to school alone.

Texting everyone in school but you.

Going back to my own house alone.

Eating dinner with my Daddy.

Watching TV with Daddy and Mummy.

Going to work alone.

Texting everyone at work but you.

Returning home from work alone.

Going to bed alone...

The past 4 days have been so painful..

I just want to thank all those who showed their concern in one way or another towards me during these few days. Your hugs, Facebook wall posts, Facebook messages, SMSes, phone calls and messages on Twitter have been great sources of motivation for me to face every single (no pun intended) day. It's only Day 4 but if feels like 4 lonely weeks. However, I know that I can pull through this. Although things may not be the same anymore, and I have to adapt to a new lifestyle which is completely different from the past 11 months or so, I know I can do it.

For those who didn't care shit to even send me an SMS, it's not like I really need your support but I realized it's times like this that allows me to see who are the ones who truly care about me. To you fuckers who didn't care shit about my heartbreak, FUCK YOU ALLLLL!!!! :D

2010-11-16T13:50:00.000+08:00

Rip my heart out till I bleed to death

Someone, please, clear the fog before my eyes. I want to see my love. I want to see my perfect relationship. I want to see that loving boyfriend.

Wait, those are just tears.

2010-11-08T10:21:00.002+08:00

Together

Happy (very belated) birthday, Max! Yesterday, I brought this kid out for McDonald's, arcade and shopping for clothes! I spent like $2oo. Holy shit. Officially broke! Haha! But.. Wow.. He's 7 already, can believe this. I remember carrying him around when he was months old. Time passes really fast! I feel like I'm getting so old. But that's okay, *turns to friends who're above 20 years old* HAHAHA!

Brought him home after shopping and Malcolm was at Max's house!

I dont know what his mother has been teaching him!!!

But okay lah, very cute. my womb is rumbling~ HAHAHA!! :)

2010-10-18T13:51:00.004+08:00

Party babes!

Shannon! She's like ultra black, haha!

Chelsia!

New friend, Jasmine Siew! She's like super ultra fierce but she's really funny!

Heh heh my favourite amongst them, Shanice! :) Act one Jay Chou HAHA! Lazy to put on make up :P

It's one week till the first day of a new school semester! I'm totally dreading it. I know that things are going to be so different, damn. (I'm not talking about the removal of the 15 minutes grace period. That doesn't make a difference to me actually, haha!) It's just that I think many of us have changed during the short 2 months. I can sense it already, even when I don't see them in real life. Never underestimate the power of online communication.

That aside, the first day of school is also my 10th month as Mr Kee's girlfriend! :) The boy has promised to bring me to Crystal Jade for 小笼包! I'm like how fucking excited! Heehee! We've never been there for a date before, so I really can't wait! :)

So, HELLO PEOPLE!! This Wednesday and Friday, please ask me out before the dragon in me gets locked up again for the school term :P (Yeah I'm only free on that 2 days.. Zzz..)

2010-10-06T15:44:00.003+08:00

So cute! I like!

Time passes extremely fast when you're having fun. It's been weeks since the holidays started and we're only left with only about 2 and a half weeks before school reopens.

To be exact, when I speak about fun times, I'm talking about the past 2 crazy weeks. I've been partying like an animal, even on weekends and it feels weird that I might not be partying tonight. Singapore's nightlife is really boring, all the clubs that we frequent seems to be getting smaller, music getting boring and crowd getting more and more familiar. I'm beginning to lose the excitement of meeting new people because it's the same faces I see all the time when I club.

Other than that, I'm really glad to have catch up with my dear girl, Shanice (or Qiqi, as I sooooo lovingly call her in that high-pitch tone which annoys the shit outta her)! She's been my partymate for the past weeks and we had sleepovers! Happy happy! She's probably the only person in the world who can laugh with me over things that some other people might think is ridiculous and completely insane/wrong. I really love her for that.

I remember when I was younger, when scandalous things happened, I never knew who to tell. It's not that I have to tell someone about everything that happens in my life but when such excitement is being contained inside, you just want to find someone to tell! I was afraid of how people might judge me, how people might think that I'm crazy.

And then I met people like her. She's currently in the top position for my High Tolerance & Acceptance For Nonsense list! Love you girl!

What should I do tonight? Party? Meet Doris for drinks? Meet Qiqi for drinks? Or slack at home with The Boy who's at Ubin right now doing his lifeguard duty for the SPF camp? I realised his work points are getting further and further. The next time he might have to travel to Malaysia or something! Crazy!

I hope tonight's going to be a good night! :)

2010-09-28T15:24:00.001+08:00

Her eyes, her eyes

Ever woke up one day, not knowing who you are? Or looked at the face of someone you love, and yet the face you see suddenly feels completely foreign, as if you were staring right at a stranger? Were there certain periods in your life which you somehow have no recollection of, no matter how hard you try now?

What if one day, the person you love the most doesn't remember who you are at all? What if the person you love the most has no memory of what you shared? How would you react?

It's probably going to be hard to believe, but this is what I fear the most, every day I wake up. But I don't think anyone can understand this.

2010-09-18T19:08:00.001+08:00

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

2010-09-17T14:41:00.002+08:00

This love has taken its toll on me

I have so much to say but Livejournal it is.

2010-09-12T17:36:00.002+08:00

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. NOT.

I've always had an issue with forgiveness.

No, it's not that I don't forgive easily. It's the other way round.

All my life, my thinking's been such that people unintentionally upset me, they accidentally make me angry and did not hurt me on purpose. It was always a perception that they never meant to do those things to me. In made sense, from their apologies and their explanations. It doesn't even need to take someone 20 sentences of explanation to appease me. It doesn't even take 10 minutes of your time to make me let things go and pretend nothing ever happened. It's that easy. This is because I believe that the longer I hold a grudge, the longer I torture that person and myself. I didn't want that, so I always forgive.

Then, it occurred to me that people started taking things for granted. Or rather, began taking me for granted. Just because I'm nice to you, you step all over me. Just because I'm not outright bitchy in your face, you insult me. Just because I don't flare up at you, you cancel out on dates at the very last minute, not once, but twice in 2 days. (By the way, I'm just using this as an example, this post isn't just targeted at one ~~asshole~~ person.)

Furthermore, what made me so sure they didn't mean everything that they did? Maybe they just wanted to see how depressed I could become. And what made me so sure that bearing a grudge was simply an on-going torture to that person and myself? For all I know, it was only torture to me because that person probably doesn't even give a shit about whether I forgive or not. This grudge only served as a constant reminder to myself about how weak I am, only knowing how to do the silent protest.

From now on (or so I wish), I have decided that it shoulodn't be that easy for you, anyone of you.

2010-09-08T02:15:00.002+08:00

Because you matter,

You're stronger than you think you are.

You're braver than you think you are.

But whenever you think you can't do it alone.. I'm sorry to say, it's true. You can't do it alone.

Reason?

WE WON'T LET YOU DO THIS ALONE.

We've got your back babe! ♥

I love you, very much! :)

Cliche, but..

No man is worth your tears, because the man who's really worth won't make you cry.

2010-09-06T23:23:00.002+08:00

I wished I could be your guardian angel.

To guide you with my light, to protect you from all things unpleasant and to give you the wisdom to make the right decisions..

But no, I'm not that capable. I don't think I will ever be.

2010-09-05T22:49:00.002+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday (again) Trina and Tania!

At Ivy's bar, Poppy! :) Nice place if you want to chill and you're sick of noisy KTV pubs or clubbing. Great place to just have a couple of drinks (or more) and catch up with some friends you haven't met in a while.. Fun crowd, friendly bartender and beautiful lady bosses, what more can you ask? Haha!

Dinner was at China Club. Scrumptious food. Excellent service. Great ambience. Thank you, Mr Leo Ng!

69 ♥

Trina ♥

Tania ♥

Last night was an awesome night, took my mind off the damned exams for a night. Managed to catch up with my dear Twins, it was wonderful seeing my dear clique again.

How I wished we could have more nights like this.. Maybe that can happen when we're all in the workforce? But that's such a long way.. Thinking about that makes my heart feel heavier than it already is.

2010-08-31T20:07:00.002+08:00

The best part of me? You.

Better start my contingency planning.

Plan:

WHAT-TO-DO-IF-I-FAIL-THIS-SEM

and

WHAT-TO-DO-AFTER-I-DROP-OUT-OF-POLY

Good game already lorr.

2010-08-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

Never again

On our 8th month together, Teckwei brought me shopping! And then he decided to be funny and bought false eyelashes for me. I now have like, 20 pairs? Haha! He made me try them on and damn! It's so difficult to put them on? I really cannot imagine how those girls can actually put them on every day. It's like, super hard to stick them on and make them look symmetrical? I've this slight OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) that all things should be symmetrical. Okay, not all, but most. So I'll spend a lot of time trying to make them symmetrical? I was so frustrated while putting on those falsies that I almost felt like kicking Teckwei for putting me through this. Since that day, I've tried them on again twice and I guess I just need to put them on more often so I will get more used to it? Or better at sticking them on nicely. Haha!

Exams are in 4 days! Holy shit. I'm so worried! If I have to repeat more modules.. Walao. Damn tempted to quit school.

Work has been alright so far.. Might be getting a new job! ;) Interview already then say. Heehee~

2010-08-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

Our Love; Perfectly flawed in every single way

We've put on so much weight in the past 7 months plus that we've been together! I think really, when you're blissfully in love (haha fuck, I can't believe I just said that of my own relationship), you tend to eat more and have lesser time for exercise! And by exercise, I don't mean having sex okay. Haha! This will not do! We must try to eat lesser and find time to exercise!

Teckwei's working 2 jobs right now, lifeguard in the afternoon and at a supermarket at night. Tonight's his first day (or night, so to say) at his second job (the supermarket one) and I'm missing him. I know it sounds dumb but, I'm not used to sleeping without him anymore, seriously. And guess what? This is going to be how it is for the next 2 months or so, for 6 nights a week. Maybe I should get a night job too, then I can sleep with him during his sleeping hours. It's 1.45am as I am typing this and usually at this time, we're either out or happily sleeping in bed. But no, tonight (and the many nights to come), he will be at work while I will be wishing he didn't have to work this hard.

At this moment, I have so much on my mind. Much too awake to go to bed anyway. Money, School shit, Exams.. It's never going to end, is it?

No wonder the suicide rate these days is so high.

Wow, what a tone to end the post. Oh well.

2010-08-08T17:26:00.003+08:00

My life has pretty much been like this (excluding the fuckloads of assignments and projects, which are over). Boyfriend, Jovan, Alina and Guo Hao.Is it my fault that my other girls are missing from my life? Is it because I haven't put in the efforts to talk to them? Is it? You tell me.

I need a hug so badly, I'm about to cry at work.

2010-08-02T11:53:00.004+08:00

Your love is my strength

The past weeks were horrible. I've been so stressed up by projects and assignments, and I know that I'm not the only one. Everyone in BZSE (or BZSE Year 2s, at least) is feeling stressed up and pressurized to push ourselves over our limits every day. The dark eye rings, heavy eye bags and failing health from the lack of sleep are evident. Maybe it's our own fault for time mismanagement. But I'm surprised how the ENTIRE course of 39 people are bad at time management. Maybe it's not us after all?

On a brighter note, I'm so thankful that Teckwei is so understanding towards my short temper caused by exhaustion and lack of sleep these days. I know there are issues now for us to settle, but I'm sure we'll make it. I'm so touched by the long note he left for me in the itouch. It made me smile and made me tear as well. I was simply overjoyed by how he actually knows what I want and what can be done to make me feel better. I'm really lucky to have you, darling!

2010-07-18T18:33:00.004+08:00

There's only one way to say,three words, that's what I'll do,

I LOVE YOU.

Today, I am going to tell you about my pathetic life. My pathetic kana-pangseh-twice-in-a-day life.

Last night, I was supposed to meet * in town at 6.30pm. After much delays, extensions of meeting time etc, we ended up not meeting at all. I spent 3 hours in town just waiting for her. Thankfully I had Jessleen (together with Tania Chong, Joanne (dont know if this is the correct selling) and Choongyee) with me, they happened to be in town. I swear I would have gone crazy if I was alone.

So I tagged along with the girls because Choongyee wanted to have her dinner, and we went to some really cheena eating place at Far East. The girls left after which at like 10 pm, and Jessleen, to accumulate good karma so that she can be a dog next life (I know right, she's fucking weird like that), stayed with me. We went to Plaza Singapura because I wanted to check movie timings, I was going to meet P later in the night. But she had to leave at 11.40pm because she had to catch the second last train (I know right, cannot last, cannot third last, but must second last) home.

I proceeded to a have a drink at TCC, alone. Wrote some notes, alone. All these while waiting for P, who could only meet me after 11pm. He texted me at 11 plus that he would be at Plaza Singapura at 12 plus. 12.30am, I texted to ask if he was going to reach. No reply. 1am, another text and no reply. 1.15am, calls unanswered. 1.25am, calls still unanswered. So I left at 1.30am on my own, in a cab. Till now, he still hasn't gotten back to me. He doesn't even have the decency to let me know what happened last night. Maybe he just didn't find the need to answer for his irresponsible behaviour.

That marked the end of my night; 7 hours spent in town, just waiting and waiting. Fuck my life, seriously. Fuck my life.

On a less fucked up note, Teckwei is finally back from camp. Although I haven't seen him yet (I came to work at 11am, he got home in the afternoon and he's at Gan Eng Seng School's 125th Anniversary Dinner), I feel much better now, knowing that I'll be able to see him after work.

Seriously, please, to the two who fucked up my night last night, dont do this to me again. Or to anyone else, for that matter. It's fucking irresponsible and you know what, I dont think I would want to go out with people like this anytime soon.

2010-07-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

告诉我爱不单行，别害怕

You know what? It's official. I have failed miserably pretending that I am not affected by Teck Wei going to Pulau Ubin fo 3 days. I have failed fucking miserably. So much for being excited that I can go party, meet everyone and get wild. I don't want to party. I don't want to club. I don't want to drink. I don't want to meet everyone. I just want my boyfriend home now!

Fuck, can you believe tears are welling up in my eyes as I type this at my work place? I think the emo chinese songs aren't helping as well.

I really miss my boyfriend. No, it's not that I'm that kind of clingy girlfriend who must see her boyfriend for 24 hours a day. It's just the sudden realization that I'm unable to contact him as and when I like, I can't hear his voice as and when I like and that he can't contact me because he's busy that is making me feel so miserable right now.

I swear I'm going to explode. Honestly, can't he just send a fucking message to let me know he's still alive? He hasn't contacted me in like 16 hours. I'm fucking dying. I really am. I'm so fucking frustrated and worried right that I can kill a bull with my bare hands.

Please call me soon )':

2010-07-16T09:30:00.002+08:00

Our love can move a mountain

Teck Wei just went to Survival Training Camp at Pulau Ubin this morning and I won't see him till Sunday night. Excuse me while I hide in a corner and cry. Please observe 10 seconds of silence for me as something so unfortunate has to happen to me.

Okay done. On a brighter note, it's more time for friends! (Although I've work today and on Sunday, there's still Saturday!) :)

2010-07-03T15:03:00.003+08:00

No, i haven't become a mother this year. Haha! This is my niece, Jolie!

I'm not afraid

It's 3 days into the 2nd half of 2010. It sounds like I'm talking about a soccer match. But isn't every year you live like a soccer match?

You start every year, not knowing what lies ahead of you. Mid year, you realise how much you've fucked up your life. When the second half starts, you decide to put things right and with enough effort, you emerge victorious, ending the year feeling happy and contented. But if you don't, you regret and then look back at your mistakes, hoping you dont make them the next year.

As much as the World Cup has brought out horrible gambling habits of people and pissed me off somehow, I don't hate soccer. Really. It's a misconception some people have of me, I don't hate soccer at all. In fact I think it's a great game that teaches people to work together, to strive and bring out the best in themselves. It's just the gambling habits of some people that makes me cringe in disgust.

Speaking of which, I am feeling down today because Brazil lost last night to Netherlands (or Holland, whichever you want to call it). It's so damn "kay-long"! How could they have lost? Look at how they have played, even without their best players on the court but reserves and newbies, they have defeated team after team. Yet at such a crucial match, they still didn't put in the crucial players. I think this year's World Cup is the most "kay-long" so far. The "dark horses" of the tournament have done so well and the usual strong teams like Brazil have played along as if they were playing a friendly match. Why do I have this feeling that they're only trying to give the newbies a chance to stand on the international court? It's so disappointing. Not to mention those fans who have flown all the way to South Africa to watch them play. Okay, enough of soccer.

As I've said, it's the second half of 2010 and I hope I can start putting my life back on track. haven't skipped school for the previous week! I know this is like, nothing to be surprised as we're all expected to go to school everyday. But hey, it's Mikoh you're talking about! I have scheduled my working days to only weekends so I can focus on my studies on weekdays. Although I know this means I'll have no time to go out and all, I dont see it as such a bad thing. After all, going out less means spending less! This is something good right?

His favourite photo that night.

Boyfriend and I @ Hood, Keong Saik Road (Chinatown).

I know, I haven't been the party animal these days. It's not that I've got an awesome boyfriend now and I have become a housewife. It's not that I have forgotten how to play and have fun. But I guess, I've learnt that there's always a time for everything. It's term time and it's time for me to fully concentrate on my studies, instead of thinking about having fun. When the holidays are here, I will party like I've never before! I will! But meanwhile, call me "boring", call me "plain". Go ahead, I don't give a shit. Maybe you think you can party like crazy and still do well in school, so I'm just bullshitting that I cannot. Think what you want to think because I will do what is right. You live your life, I'll live mine, my way.

Aim for the second half of 2010: excel in studies, fuck everything else!!!

Enjoy the weekend, people! :)

2010-06-30T14:37:00.003+08:00

我爱他。

如果还有遗憾，是分手那天，我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来。若那一刻重来，我不哭，让她知道我可以很好。

我爱他，轰轰烈烈最疯狂。我的梦，狠狠碎过却不会忘。

How do you know whether you've moved on? How do you let someone so important go? How could memories be so painful and beautiful at the same time?

I shall not falter. I shall not retreat. I shall not be taken down.

I shall strive, and emerge victorious!

2010-06-10T18:05:00.002+08:00

When I'm with you, I'll make every second count.
'Cause I miss you, whenever you're not around.

It feels like I haven't seen you in ages.

I'm sorry.

Sorry I've been busy studying for my common tests.
Sorry I get very short-tempered when I'm studying.
Sorry you've to work so hard during your holidays.
Sorry you'll be starting a new term when my holidays start.
Sorry I'll be busy with dates/sleepovers with my friends.
Sorry I haven't been the most understanding girlfriend.

But above all these,

I'm thankful for having you by my side.
I'm thankful for your understanding.
I'm thankful for your tolerance.
I'm thankful for your patience.
I'm thankful for you being who you are.
I'm thankful for you loving me the way I am.

We'll be hitting the 6-month mark soon and am I surprised? I would be if it weren't with you. But with you, hitting 60 months is a minimum.

I love you ♥

2010-06-06T15:59:00.000+08:00

ME-OOOWWW~!

After hell knows how many years of feeling frustrated because I cannot differentiate the patterns on leopards, jaguars and cheetahs when I see them on TV or pictures, I have finally set my ass on it to find out!

Jaguars look very similar to Leopards but they are generally bigger in size and of a sturdier built. It also likes to swim, like the Tiger! This is not common of the Feline species.

Jaguar Print: notice small spots inside the polygonal rosettes! So if you see such prints on clothes and the salesgirl tells you that "Leopard Prints" are the most popular trend now, slap her face and tell her to stop lying!

(A very sian-looking) Leopard! Notice the prints at the side of his body, similar to the Jaguar's just without the smaller spots in the rosettes, but significantly different from the Cheetah's.

Leopard Print: What we usually see on skirts and dress and leggings these days, haha! Very similar to the Jaguar's.

Cheetahs are the fastest animals on Earth! Other than their spots, you can differentiate them by their face; they have "teary" black lines from their eyes down to the sides of their mouths. Now that's one EMO KITTY!

Cheetah Print: Full spots with no outlines!

Oh wow, I just realised I am wearing Leopard Print boxers :O HAHAHA! Okay I better get back to studying, heehee!! :D

2010-05-30T19:05:00.002+08:00

From Alina's blog.

It basically sums up everything I've ever wanted to say for the past.. God knows how long.

And yes, let go. I did, like you did too.

On a completely different note, I've quit my job at Pool Fusion(again)! Now that I'm not a staff there anymore, I feel so much better, so much more relieved. That place is really such a stressful and unhappy place to work at. Most companies have CCTVs set up in the shop for security reasons, to protect their staff and property. But Pool Fusion has their CCTVs set up to spy on their staff if they are slacking on the job. And why do I say that? Because everytime someone watches the CCTVs, someone will call and ask me to do my area cleaning etc etc. Recently this colleague of mine had a shortage of an entire carton of drinks, someone claims to have checked the camera but "could not find a view of the area where we place the drinks". Then what are the fucking CCTVs for?! To spy on us right?! What the fuck. And our CPF contributions.. God, I dont even want to talk about that cheater boss of mine. Oops, I meant, EX-BOSS.

I'm so much happier at this place, although it's not as convenient for me to travel here But it's all of better worth than working at Pool Fusion!

Happy days ahead, yes? :D

2010-05-24T22:42:00.001+08:00

Cherry Blossoms; Power and Feminine Dominance

I need to get back on my feet, stop being the follower, and return to my own leader self.

On a brighter note, Happy 5th Month in advance, My Love ♥

2010-05-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

And the sad truth of the matter is I'll never get over it, But I'm gonna try, To get better and overcome each moment, In my own way..

I hope to have more outings with my dear T03, even if it's just for a meal at KAP. I realised it's not easy to maintain such a big clique but I believe if we try, we could. Sometimes, all we need is to put in a little more effort than what we thought was the maximum we could give. You know? We need to learn to open up to each other more. We need to stop isolating ourselves when we face problems because that's what friends are for, to be there for you when you need someone. We need to love how each of us are perfectly flawed in every single way. We need to love each of us a little more each day! I love all of you, please love me back too hahahahaha!!!! :P

This week is e-learning week and I'm going to take this week to give myself a little break because we dont have to go to school (oh wait, there's fucking dumb ass meeting at 12 noon tomorrow. Knn suck my toe lah), but at the same time, get my assignments started haha. Ironic, I know. I hate schoooool~~~~ Argh!

Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone
Won't make me leave no faster
Put my coat on faster
Leave my girls no faster
I should've left my phone at home
'Cuz this is a disaster
Callin' like a collector
Sorry I cannot answer

Wednesday is Ladies' Night! Who wants to club with me!? Heehee!

Oh why oh why are the radio stations playing clubbing songs?! Temptation island oh-lala~

2010-04-14T14:57:00.003+08:00

Only time will tell

I was having the urge to go clubbing tonight and Shermin called me after she saw my tweet. I was really having this entire "angel and devil sitting on my shoulders arguing thing". Hahaha!

And all hail the good in the world. I have decided not to club because:

I am fucking tired, only had 2 hours of sleep this morning due to work last night and I am on morning shift right now.
I always get fucking angry with TW when he makes last minute plans with his friends, leaving me alone. Or tells me he is going to the coffee shop to drink lemon tea with his friends and chitchat, but end up going to drink. I didnt wanna be a bitch, not doing what I preach.
I am not in my clubbing gear. HAHAHAHA.
And I really wanted to catch up. And like Shermin said, "You can't catch up in a club! You can't even talk!" Although I said we could talk while queuing. Haha!

I have a love-hate relationship with Shermin's blog these days. Her posts are usually funny with all that bullshit and I love it for that. But recently, her spoilers have been making me go "Walao" everytime I read. Hahaha! Yeah okay, school's starting!!! *cue: everyone pull your hair and make the D: face*

Damn it. I was just complaining to Andy about me dreading school and he commented on how school days would be the happiest days of your life. What's with old people? (Okay fine, he's 30 years old but he really speaks like he's 40. Too experienced in life already..) Reminiscing the days of hell which have seemed to turn into days in paradise due their failing memory?

Okay, on a completely different note, I am fucking freezing at my work place. Argh! ):

2010-04-04T19:24:00.003+08:00

Nuh-ei.

I wished we had the time to just sit under the starlit sky for a moment, just to take a breath from everything that's happening around us.

Standard of living's pretty decent but what about the quality of life?

Dont tell me I'm overdemanding, and that I should learn to be contented with my life. I have a complete family now, great friends and wonderful boyfriend. They all love and care for me. Yes, I do know that.

But it's not my fault that I still feel unhappy right? I do appreciate whatever and whoever I have around me.

But I'm tired. I'm so tired of this fast-paced life. It's really taking a toll on me.

I see why Singaporeans always choose to migrate to more relaxed and laid back countries like Australia or New Zealand after their retirement, or when they plan to start their own family, start a new life.

I dont even know why the hell am I working so hard, only having a day off almost every week. Why cant I just be a normal stupid dependent school girl who fucking relies on her parents? School's starting real soon and to be honest, I havent had a break yet. I havent had time to rest. And I'm about to be thrown into a faster paced life.

Tell me about it. Or maybe, it's POST-menstrual syndrome.

2010-03-21T07:47:00.002+08:00

Blood is thicker than water

This is one of the few rare moments I have this strong urge to write. The kind of urge strong enough to stay awake after working 9 hours of night shift, push myself from the kitchen to the living room, turn on the desktop, wait for everything to load and then come here.

As some of you might or might not know, my most annoying (but nonetheless dearest to me) brother is going to court tomorrow, 22 March 2010. If I were my usual rational self, this is probably no big deal. He made a mistake and yes, he should be a man, face it and serve his time if he needs to. He has made mistakes before, gone to the Boys' Home and Boys' Hostel and had probation. But he did not learn his lesson to choose his friends wisely and make correct decisions. He has done wrong and should be responsible for the consequences he is about to face.

However, I am made of flesh and blood. In us, there is this very same blood flowing. I am his sister, his ONLY sister (I dont care how many other fucking idiots he listed on Facebook under "Siblings", there's only two of us).

This feeling is so scarily familiar, just like what I felt a few years back when he first got into trouble with the law. Just two nights ago, I was holding on to, and reading his photocopied bail statement and confessions to the Police and I felt my heart drop for a moment. Why did he have to make such foolish mistakes and get himself into such unnecessary trouble? Why did he have to make my mother heartbroken all over again? Why did he have to let my father have to be his guarantor? Why? I'll probably never know what is really harsh enough to make my brother learn his lesson. I blamed him for his stupidity. I blamed him for turning a deaf ear to my constant nagging. But at the end of it all, I love my brother.

It hurts me so much, I cannot stop crying at the thought of have to spend a minimum of 18 months away from my brother. Him being locked up in the RTC, and me leading what seems to be a normal life outside. But beneath it all, I'm missing my brother so much.

I fear he might not learn his lesson after going to the RTC because from what I've heard from my friends, the people who are in there aren't actually remorseful for their mistakes. As a matter of fact, they get into cliques to bully weaker ones. Not that I fear my brother getting bullied. I fear that my brother will end up on the same side with those delinquents, those rascals.

Just about an hour or so ago, I was having breakfast with my brother and he indirectly pleaded me to spend tonight with him at home. I know he is scared of having to serve time. I know he is going to miss me like I am going to miss him. I know he is really scared. But sadly, I still have to turn up for work because no one is able to cover my shift tonight. This is probably my regret of the year.

I dont want him to spend his 18th birthday in RTC. I dont want to spend a Christmas without him. I dont want to spend a New Year without him. I dont want to spend my birthday without him. I dont want to spend Lunar New Year without him. I dont want to. But we dont have a choice, we dont.

Oh heaven, it hurts so much. Please let my brother be okay. Please give him strength to go through whatever he has to. Please guide him to the correct path. Please keep bad influences away from him. Please give him wisdom and determination to change for the better. In exchange, I promise to be good, I promise.

2010-03-18T21:41:00.003+08:00

Hey Dad, look at me. Think back and talk to me, did I grow up according to plan?

Everytime I look back at the life I led for the past 10 years, I'm reminded of how hard it was to pull through every single day with my mother and brother. But somehow, my single-parent family made it.

I remember how I used to blame my father for every single suffering that we endured. I remember how I would cry thinking of the scary number of years I still have to suffer before I can finally be happy again. And I remember looking forward to his homecoming, that anticipation engulfing me for weeks prior to his return.

Then for the next few days after reunion, I realised how things weren't what I thought they would be.

Lesser feelings and emotions were expressed as I have visioned. Actually, not to mention feelings and emotions, little words were exchanged daily. Everything felt awkward between us somehow. And the way I tried to eradicate such awkward moments? Acting like a clown, making my parents laugh so they don't see the awkward expression I have on my face.

I need the courage to speak up, but I really can't do it. He needs the courage to have talks with me, neither does he have it. Time and time again, he has asked me to come home to have a talk after dinner, none of that happened. It was always minutes of awkward silence after dinner, him starting to play virtual poker on Facebook and then, "Daddy bye bye". The vicious cycle repeats.

Not to forget, the moments I received phone calls from him, meant to reprimand me harshly for not going back home frequently have all turned to awkward "Err.. You should give your Mum a call if you're not coming home." Honestly, the thought of this has already brought tears to my eyes.

Somehow, I feel that we used to be closer through the phone calls you made when you were in some suburb near Sydney, 3925 miles away from home, as compared to now when we're under the same roof or less than 3km away when I am staying at TW's house.

When will things change? When will things get better? I don't know.

2010-02-22T22:02:00.004+08:00

Baby can't you see?

I know I shouldnt be asking for too much in life. Sometimes looking at the less fortunate does make you feel better about your pathetic life but then again, it's not my fault that I wished for more and wished for the better right?

I'm glad dad's finally home although the homecoming wasnt as dramatic as I have imagined (and dreamt of several times). Lunar New Year was okay, not much of a difference from previous years, just that we've got him back home with us now. (By the way, I havent seen my brother in days/weeks? It's dumb.)

Exams are here and I think I have more important things to do like studying than giving my attention to people who are demanding too much attention from me. After my exams, I'll deal with you one by one.

On a completely different note, here's my perfect engagement ring, from Tiffany & Co.

Round Brilliant with Channel-set band

A band of channel-set round brilliant diamonds enhances the classic Tiffany six-prong setting for a spectacular display of white light.

Carat weight : 2

I'll marry anyone who buys me this. HAHAHAHA. So much for not being demanding in life. Okay fine, nothing less than 1 carat!

2010-01-30T16:54:00.004+08:00

(Adapted from Alina's)

If this list (probably made by an over-demanding girl) is real and accurate, I think I'm the luckiest girl around. Every single point (except for those that happen in school, since we're in different schools) that I read, one image of us together would surface from my memory.

Kee Teck Wei, I love you ♥

2010-01-26T21:57:00.003+08:00

Cause' tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again, dont make me change my mind

To my favourite boy,

I miss you already! Sleep earlier tonight, dont gui hun at Pasir Ris okay!!! Love you ♥

To two of my favourite girls,

I love you very much, please stay very very strong ♥

2010-01-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy 1st Month ♥

2010-01-15T23:58:00.004+08:00

I'm breaking free

I never should have allowed myself to become like this.

This is not me.

I hate how I am right now.

I am exactly the kind of girlfriend I would hate in the past.

This is completely disgusting.

I must never allow anyone to become this important to me again.

I must never allow anyone to become this indispensable to me again.

I must never allow anyone to hurt me like 16 November 2009, ever again.

Fuck this shit, I'm going back to what I was.

I want my life back.

2010-01-11T23:16:00.003+08:00

What love feels like

Last evening, I suddenly felt like cooking for my mum, but my request was rejected. I guess my effort to bring us closer aint helping. And then she had to fucking get jealous when I decided to cook for Boyfriend's mum and sister instead.

But anyway, we headed over to Tiong Bahru NTUC Fairprice to shop for groceries!

Picture this 6 years from now (:

The most chio in the whole supermarket. Me okay, the one in the middle okay, not the cashier.

Shades for no-make-up days, especially when Boyfriend is so well-dressed!

Us in the queue

Teck Wei: "I must pose with our trolley!"

Our stuff!

Boyfriend's mum decided to let me try one of their homemade dish from Thailand. I swear I almost died. Seriously, I need to start learning to appreciate the smell and taste of parsley (?) the smelly veggie!!! And hell, my chilli-eating skill needs to be improved!

Okay, I need to sleep. Argh fuck my flu and fever. Why have I been falling sick so fucking often?!

2010-01-08T21:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wished I could just run away from everything.

Have you ever had the feeling of having a lot of mixed emotions in your heart which you cant seem to put it into words? Have you ever had such messed up thoughts that you simply give up thinking because it's too tiring trying to organize your thoughts? I've been feeling that lately and it's really making my life as tough as hell.

I have so many issues in my head I'd really like to settle but it's so damn difficult just putting them into point form. Which reminds me, I havent got my fucking planner, which I have been saying I want to since forever. This is not right.

The thing that is bugging me the most is probably the problems that have arose in boyfriend's family because of me. Is it my fault that he loves me so much he wants to spend all his free time with me? Is it my fault that he goes out more than last time now because he wants to see me? Is it my fault that he wasnt even aware that his mother was sick because he stayed over at my place that night? Is it my fault that your mother chose to cry in front of you instead of your older brother? Is it my fault that your nosy neighbors are coming over to your house just to see who "the woman" your brother brings home is?

Yes, you probably think so.

But has it occurred to you that things might not be what you think they are? I dont blame you for putting all the blame on me or your brother for your mother's sadness. At first, I actually understood how you felt. The heartache you feel when you see your brother make your mother cry. I have a brother (who was once very problematic, and I'm not saying he's a saint right now) too. I have been that sister who had to be the one comforting the crying mother before. I know exactly how you feel. But all that you felt doesnt give you the right to act like a fucking deranged bitch!

Smashing (what you assumed was) his helmet (which was actually MY BROTHER'S) on the floor and breaking the visor isnt going to make him repent. Smashing all his hard-earned trophies wont make him realise his mistakes. All you actually made him feel was that he's got an incorrigible sister's who's out of her mind. All you're doing, only makes him want to seek comfort from me and my family.

You're fucking 18 this year, for goodness' sake. Cant you behave in a more matured and civilized manner?

You wanted me to reprimand him for hurting your feelings by saying you're an useless ITE student. I DID. You wanted me to make him understand that his family is more important than his girlfriend. I DID TOO. I spent so much time and effort talking to your brother, hoping it will make things better between you and him, as well as your mother. But what did you do? You made your brother give up on salvaging his relationship with you when you finally decided to go crazy and vent it all on his trophies, which he once left me alone at home for hours just to clean them and display them on his shelf.

Maybe you people think I should lock my blog once more, since I want to talk about such stuff. Or hide under the shield of livejournal again. But then, this is my blog and I'm not posting degrading remarks about others or making up stories of others. Why should I be afraid? Maybe because there are other parties who're involved who might chance upon this space and ask me about stuff. And there are certain things you cant seem to be able to tell someone face to face.

But I just feel that the only thing I have done wrong was probably stopping him from hitting you. You truly deserved a few punches in the face for being such a childish and insane bitch.

You think you're the only one with feelings? You just havent seen how much I was hurting to see my own boyfriend feeling so fucking down because of what you did.

Why must things be like this?

There have been so many times I thought I could help make things better if I left him. But thinking about your crazy behavior, I fear that he might not be able to take being in the same house as you and ends up doing something even more insane. And it's not fair for us to lose each other just because of this. We're going to make it somehow. We're going to make you understand that violence is not the only solution in the world.

2010-01-05T10:44:00.007+08:00

I had a great 19th birthday, celebrating with my family, beloved 69+Nicole+Willie and Boyfriend!

My surprise birthday cake at Cathay, from Secret Recipe!

(Not so surprised because I caught them lighting the cake when they were hiding from me, all dont want to answer my calls! Haha!)

The girls who had lunch together!

My pretty manicured nails (and fat fingers zzz) ! Present from Trina!

Tania, darling girlfriend of 2yrs+!

Willie the giant, who has lost a lot of weight actually.

Khoo, who abandoned her bf for me. P! Lend me Nicole for a day lah, dont be petty.

The darkness who shields me from the glaring lights in life, Narmy!

Clara-ra-ah-ah-ah! Bad romance siol.

Sarah! Who kindly sponsored my brazilian waxing with Tania!

Yes, I got my cheebye waxed for the first time on my 19th birthday!

At Chit Chat with my mum, aunt and uncles (and bf la)

Old already, drink Tiger hahaha!

Lovelove!

I'll do a proper blog update soon okay? Promise!!!

2010-01-02T01:34:00.005+08:00

Happy 2010 !

In 2009, I...

... had great parties with great people.

... made new friends.

... fell foolishly in love and got my heart broken.

[But realised how much others (i.e Shermin) cared for me.]

... watched someone else get her heart broken, but it's okay, we're here for each other.

... found the sweetest boy I could ever have.

And this year, 2010...

-health

-studies

-friendship/kinship/love

-$$$

...will all be stronger/better/wealthier!

HUAT AH! :D

2009-12-25T23:13:00.003+08:00

I had an awesome Christmas with people who mean a lot to me.

What about you?

Last night was great and I feel fucking happy right now, although my body feels like it's going to break apart soon. Need to cut down on drinking...

Love my Twin (who has been pretty wild lately, take good care of yourself okay...)

Love my Boss ^^

Love my boy, chan raak tur mak mak lur ♥

---

I was talking to Shermin on msn about her crazy behaviour when she's drunk...

♥최승현 says:

*shit.

*next time i sure gg alr

*okay lah

*at least

*i think i only rape ppl i know

*HAHAAH

♥ MIKOH says:

*HAHAHAHAHHA

*heng i am not in ur list

♥최승현 says:

*EH

*i swear

♥ MIKOH says:

*else i dont know kana raped how many times

*LOL!!!!

♥최승현 says:

*i was going to rape you

*HAHAAHAHA

♥ MIKOH says:

*HUH

*SIAO

*lol

♥최승현 says:

*but i thought

*OMG

*siao

♥ MIKOH says:

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*OMG!

*can i blog abt this?!?!?!?!

*HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA

♥최승현 says:

*HAHAHAAH

*okay.

*LOL

SHERMIN WANTED TO RAPE ME! :$

2009-12-22T14:57:00.003+08:00

Holiday in Goa is over,
Back to reality

I dont feel any motivation to update my blog at all. But I shall try to!

Trip to Gawad Kalinga (GK) in the Philippines was not as bad as I thought it would be. I learnt to appreciate what I have in Singapore. Something as simple as clean tap water is actually a blessing that many people in different parts of the world do not get to enjoy.

Moreover, the 6 days in Philippines also taught me to be flexible. The only thing that is constant in this world is change. The world is forever changing. Nothing and no one can stay stagnant. Hence, it is important for us to learn to adapt to changes around us so that we do not fall behind in society.

(This little boy is Alfonso, I miss him so much...)

I also saw a different side of many people, friends, classmates, including my lecturers. This trip is indeed a meaningful and enriching one. I am looking forward to more of these trips, to be honest.

Okay, a futile attempt to put my feelings into words. Haha! Epic fail la. Pictures on facebook! :D

Mahal na mahal kita.
I love you very much.

This Christmas, I'll be praying that life for Alfonso and the people in his village gets better. What about you?

Lesson learnt: "Less for self, More for others, Enough for all"

2009-12-11T14:03:00.003+08:00

First time in DBLO last night

Shermin, Mikoh and Shanice (Qihui!!)

Shanice loves me lah ;)

New found friends who treated us to drinks

Shermin and her boys, player sia (HAHAHAHA)

Mr Kee was there too! (:

(This is our only picture from last night leh walao!)

More pictures on Facebook! It's such a waste I didnt take pictures with Mr Kee and his friends!

Anyway, I had AWESOME FUN (inserts sneaky look at Shermin and Shanice) with my pretty ladies! I cant wait to club again, Phuture tonight? Heehee!

I refuse to think about my Philippines trip but damn, I need to pack my luggage!!!

2009-12-10T03:30:00.000+08:00

♥

Romeo, save me, they try to tell me how to feel

This love is difficult, but it's real

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

It's a love story,baby, just say yes

2009-12-04T23:11:00.001+08:00

You're just my day late friend

I think we could have been great together. But maybe we're not meant to be. It's too late... At least for now. I hope we can be really good friends.

If only you made a move earlier.

2009-12-01T09:43:00.005+08:00

Things are looking up!

I've been feeling really happy around these people these days...

Guohao! (aka GGH) ♥

Jovan Sweetie! ♥

Yeah, we feel the ♥ already!

Professional ~~camwhore~~ photographer

Danial :D

The walk for Action For AIDS / Unmask for World AIDS Day

281109

Play Safe, bitches.

C.I. (Cadet Inspector?) Kee Hahaha!

Expo!

Kelvin Rider Very Fierce

I'm a cheerful girl!!

Anyway,

CHUPA CHUPS going at $1 EACH!

I know, rip-off right?

But it's all for a good cause!

We're raising funds for the poor children in Philippines.

I'll be going to Philippines with my classmates and lecturers on 13 December (my flight's on 12th though) for this school trip to visit Gawad Kalinga.

I have 40 to clear, please contact me if you're interested to help! I need to clear everything by this week! Thank you!

I will love you deep deep if you buy from me okay! Hahahaha!

2009-11-18T14:03:00.002+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday Doris! (:

See you later babe..

Happy 17th Birthday Alina/Alibom/Alibaba!

2009-11-16T12:24:00.002+08:00

Blind - Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive

I watched helpless

As you turn around to leave

And still I have the pain I have to carry

A past so deep

That even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more

Then you will ever know

And part of me died

When I let you go

I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming

That everything

Would be like it was before

But nights like this

It seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more

Then you will ever know

And part of me died

When I let you go

After all this why

Would you ever want to leave

Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more

Then you will ever know

And part of me died

When I let you go

That I loved you more

Then you will ever know

And part of me died

When I let you go

2009-11-13T02:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TIGER!!!!!!!

2009-11-12T15:37:00.003+08:00

You're like an Indian summer, in the middle of a winter

Our differences may tear us apart.

But not if I change for you.

And I know, you wont do the same for me.

I really want to watch My Sister's Keeper with you but I know it's not your kind of movie. What else, can we do together other than what we have been doing for the past weeks?

Eat.

Drink.

Watch Naruto.

Sleep.

Repeat.

Am I that boring?

2009-11-10T02:42:00.001+08:00

不要忘了我有多麼愛你 ♥

2009-11-08T14:06:00.003+08:00

Highest level of problem-avoidance

Daphanie! Too bored at work, haha!

Phuture with Shermin and Olivia and her friend Naan on Friday night! But I dont have pictures with them, what the hell. I've pictures with Shermin only. Haha!

This face is a must-have in all of Shermin's days/nights out

Some very nice woman offered to take a picture for us

Shermin is a slut!! Look at the amount of skin she's baring!

Mine's more covered up right! Heehee!

I hate desperate army boys! The only sentence to summarize that night at Phuture! Fucking hell.

I only have 2 pictures from last night's drinking at some KTV pub, more with.. Oh fuck. I dont even know who's phone we were using. Hahaha shit. Oh wells, too bad. I hope I can get them from Facebook somehow haha!

Oh, and notes from last night:

1) I fucking hate fucking little sluts who cannot drink, but drink a lot, and then make themselves look like fools, and then embarrassing the ones who brought them out to drink.

2) Why the hell didnt you offer to pay a little for the drinks when you saw one of our girls sitting there, her hands holding the bill and cash we forked out, and she was still trying to come up with the sum on the bill? You're a fucking guy, who has enough to get so many tattoos, your license and own a bike, for fuck's sake. We're not even asking you to fork out $100. And quoting Stephanie, "Even $30 helps a lot." Shame on you.

3) Seriously, we have been out long enough to know when you stupid bitches are acting drunk in the pub. Who the hell tumbles all over the place, cannot stand on her own feet, needs the guys to hold her and then becomes completely sober 10 minutes later when we start discussing who should share the cab and go home together? We ain't fools.

Last night, really. Never felt my blood boil so much in a long time.

2009-11-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

Happy 47th Birthday, Mummy.

I hope you liked your present.

2009-11-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

I wished I was stronger

Lunch with the boys/Bugis with Shermin/Town with Twins+Sarah+Clara

We're chio like that

Trina

Tania

My babies

Shermin and I have the same bag and same wallet, talk about being tight

I dont really feel like talking much here so yeah, more pictures and nonsense at Shermin's blog.

我好想你　想到不能呼吸　

想到全身沒力氣　沒有關係
你別忘記　我們的約定　

一直都在我心裡
不管你在哪裡　

不要忘了我有多麼愛你

2009-11-04T00:02:00.002+08:00

I need to be needed

Farmville. Emoville.

Cafe World. Cafe Emo.

Happy Aquarium. Emo Aquarium.

I absolutely abhor myself when I am down. I feel as though I have been sucked dry of any happiness that is left in my body.

I cant always be the one taking all the fucking initiative, you know?

But times like this, I'm glad I have Shermin.

2009-11-02T21:40:00.002+08:00

Drained

I'm fucking exhausted. Tomorrow is a super long day. School from 9am-6pm. Give me strength to pull through school and then work from 7pm-midnight.

I wished I was really Iron Woman.

IMMBA ):

2009-11-02T12:49:00.003+08:00

If You Are What You Say You Are,

Sometimes I wonder if people really say what they mean and mean what they say. I wished I could have a lie detector in me which can detect any discrepancies in my conversations with people. More often than not, I choose to believe the most ridiculous things that people say, or the most absurd ~~reasons~~ excuses they come up with for doing things which are unacceptable. I'm not stupid, I'm not naive. I just respect you as a person, that's all.

As I type this, I have several people on my mind. If I were to talk about them one by one, I could probably type a 10,000 word essay, along with evidences to support my statements. But no, I shall not do that for it would 1) cause a lot of conflicts for I know some of them read my blog and 2) use up too much of my brainpower which I must say is very little now, thanks to all this workload that's only slowly falling into place.

Really, is it so difficult for you to treat a person as a friend, with no bad intentions? You can make use of someone you call a "friend" as a weapon to someone else you hate. I dont know what to think about this friendship at all.

If only people didnt have such complicated and fucked up minds.

2009-11-01T19:59:00.003+08:00

Never Again

No more ): I hope Weikiat's friend will treat them well!

On a completely different note, I am feeling like a dead fish right now thanks to the damned hangover. Which is also the reason why I didnt go watch the boys play soccer or attend BZSE's BBQ.

Chivas + Beer + Vodka = INDIA

I'll

Never

Again!!!!!!!!

Merlion all the way home. I am pretty sure I made an embarrassment of myself last night. Sigh. This is bad ):

Oh! Today is Jovan's 18th birthday!

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY JOVAN HO! LOVELOVE! ♥♥♥

2009-10-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

These three little sweethearts were rescued by three friends of mine, DaiWei, Jin and Weikiat and are now "living" with DaiWei the Tiger. Hahaha! DaiWei is an asshole who had decided to name all of them Michelle. Like, what the fuck!? No, that's not going to happen, we're going to think of names soon :)

Oh man, they are so fucking cute! I visited them before work and was holding them in my hands. They kept licking me with their little tongues and biting me with their tiny teeth. So ultra cute! They're so small, soft and fragile. So mega adorable! Damn, maternal instincts. Hahaha!

I miss the kitties already!!!

2009-10-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm Officially Missing You

Today started out as a horrible day but whatever, let's not talking about stuff that will make my blood boil.

A whole afternoon and evening of shopping at Bugis street! I never knew I could stay there for so long! Hahaha! Things are indeed different when you have cash on you. But damn it, I'm broke again. Need to wait for my full pay to come in!

With Shermin!

And my loot, at the end of the session. Hahaha!

We were so fucking tired! I think it's not just from the shopping but from the bullshitting and laughing! I love going out and laughing ~~with~~ at her! She then went to meet her noob in the evening while I waited at Bugis for Doris!

My favourite siao char bor

(Omg we look so alike here!)

And OUR loot at the end, when we were going home.

Madness, we each managed to spend >$100 at Bugis! Congratulations! We're officially poor now! Hahaha! Assholes please stop borrowing money from us. Especially from Doris! She's not a fucking ATM, damn it. People should just stop treating her like one. One day, she's going to explode at you. She might be nice but there's a limit to everything. So dont push it too far!

One tote bag, one sling bag, two bermudas and five t-shirts

And only the bags are for myself. Hahaha! The rest are for the 2nd and 3rd important men in my life, as well as *! More about this soon, heehee! It's meant to be a surprise but if it leaks out, it wont be fun anymore.

I cannot wait for the weekends to come!

2009-10-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

...indeed.

Nothing feels better than getting a ton worth of previously swallowed words vomited all over the person who needs to hear you bare it all.

Sorry, I can't seem to put this in a more glamorous sentence.

(Knowing me, what were you expecting?)

2009-10-26T18:59:00.002+08:00

A Time For Everything

It was Max's 6th birthday celebration last night. Daiwei and I apparently "shared" a present for Max and holy cow, that silly guy went to buy this gigantic stuffed cat for Max. The stuffed cat was like, as big as Max okay?! Everyone kept staring at me when I was waiting for a cab and holding the stuffed cat. And not to mention how everyone at the party was damn shocked by the present I brought. I think Max is going to love Daiwei for a long long time. Haha!

Mitchie, Mikoh and Malcolm! 3M!

He's got an angry face..

It's been so long since I last carried Malcolm and man, he's heavy! I think he's about to be obese if he grows at this scary rate. Mitchie! You better watch your son's health okay!

Mitchie says Malcolm is just like his father. HUM SUP LOW (lecher, in cantonese) !! Malcolm kept squeezing my boobs when I carried him, I swear. It's not even like putting his little hand on my boob, but squeezing it! It felt damn weird zzz.. I had to keep pushing his hand away while Mitchie laughed at her son's antics. I dont know what kind of mother she is man, she even told Malcolm to rape her friend's daughter next time, because her friend kept pressing Malcolm's cheeks together. Hahaha!

The night ended badly with Man Utd losing 2-0 to fucking LiverFools. Damn it. But that's okay, at least we're not in 5th position on the EPL now :P

I worry, because you matter. But you dont understand.

2009-10-25T15:49:00.002+08:00

♥

I think I like surprises now, especially coming from someone who most likely wont give such cute surprises.

I refuse to believe that such happiness is short-lived. As long as I fight, as long as I fight.

2009-10-21T12:45:00.002+08:00

One step at a time

This is to some of my friends, especially Stella babe! If you happen to read this, I have something to say. If he thinks that he has found his happiness, someone who suits him and he is happy with her, then we should give him our blessings, isnt it? Isnt that what friends are for? To support his decisions which make him happy? We too, started out as strangers, to colleagues, and then friends. You all gave me time to prove myself to be a good friend and girlfriend, I think you should do the same for her. I think it's because you dont know her yet and her appearance hasnt really left a good impression on you, that's why you guys are not too happy with his decision. Honestly speaking, I dont believe there is a time span to which someone has to stick to, to get over a broken relationship. Although we havent broken up for long, as long as he feels that he has found someone worthy of his love and he is willing to be a better boyfriend to this girl, we should give him our blessings and support! Isnt it better that he has moved on than him being stuck, not getting over the break up? So chill a little, take a step back and watch his love (hopefully) blossom! (:

2009-10-20T20:24:00.003+08:00

And the world will sing for You

Oh my, I look like I have eyeliner below my eyes (what the hell do you call that part?) but actually, I didnt apply! Heehee, I like! One of my rare good-make-up-days. Usually, my make up is pretty screwed up. I think it was taken on Sunday before I met the boys to watch their soccer match!

Today, I went to school for a 2-hour lecture from 4pm-6pm. And I am happy that I went because we got a very interesting (and lame at times) lecturer, Dr. T, for Stats! I hope he doesnt turn out like Dr. R. We used to think Dr. R was really funny and all, then we slowly found out how pms-y he is and hell, he hates us (my so-called clique) and favours the rest of the class. Although I really dont know why.. He's teaching us some Social Environment shit this semester. But Jovan pointed out we're going to see him even in next year because we still have Econs next year! Oh, damn it.

Alumni for dinner with the guys! As usual, we had fun laughing (at Jovan and GGH). Heh. I wonder what it'll be like if they both dont turn up for lessons. I think we'll all be bored to death in school, seriously.

I seriously need to stop cab-ing to school! ): I shall be a good girl and go to bed early tonight and hopefully take the bus to school tomorrow morning, got lesson at 9am. Because no work = no money. School = money deplete! Damn!!!

GGH and I were saying how we miss clubbing already. Fret not, Jovan's 18th birthday is coming! Cant wait! Party boy, par-par-party boy! Party girl, par-par-party girl!

School is almost unbearable but with the funny people in class, things arent so bad eh?

Need to find a new job, hopefully DW and I can work at IKEA! $$$$$$$$$ T.T

MY LIFE IS SO BORING!!! No one bothers coming here anymore, zzz...

2009-10-19T21:13:00.002+08:00

Sooner or later, I'll get my happiness

First day of the new semester started out kinda crappy since I woke up 50mins late and had to fucking cab to school. Fucking peak hour surcharge! Bloody hell, wasted fucking $12.70 for nothing. Okay I sound so damn angsty hahaha! Sorry :P

(Click to enlarge)

This is the updated timetable, look at Monday, it's such a waste of time! Just one fucking lecture for Principle Of Accounts and lessons are over! And Tuesday, it's such a fucking long day! From 9am to 6pm! Insane or what?! I prefer the previous timetable, it's so much better, right? ):

(T01 = tutorial class, Lo1 = lecture class, P01 = practical class, I think? Which is tutorial, I guess..)

There will be no tutorials for this week which means, bloody mother hell, I have to go to school tomorrow from 4pm to 6pm just for a fucking lecture on Intro to Statistics. This is insane. I hate NP, period.

On a brighter note, I found out Jovan is in my Friday classes, so I guess I wont be too lonely for LMS (Life Management Skills) lessons.

Anyway, I went to meet Twins, Nicole, P and Harris in town today! Ate at Ajisen Ramen and we talked so damn much, miss my girls! Enjoyed myself bullying Tania, heehee! She totally deserved it for cheating on me with Harris. That unfaithful bitch. But being the kind-hearted and forgiving Mikoh, aiyah~ Let her be. Haha!

Nicole, P and Harris left for whatever they had to attend to while the Twins and I headed over to Bugis! We shopped a little and guess what, I didnt even buy anything for myself! But I am still a happy girl. I hope that fatso and - like the shirts I bought for them.

I better sleep early tonight so I can get used to sleeping early!!

2009-10-15T16:13:00.007+08:00

I'll do it all over again, it's always the same

Can you stop being so extremely nice to me? I really dont know how to handle this. Is it my fault? Am I giving you the wrong idea because I am nice to you? But I'm really just nice to you as a friend, like I am to everyone else. Maybe it's my fault, for not having the courage to tell you this face to face. But I am sure you read this space. You know it's you I'm talking about. I've finally decided to blog about this because I really cant bear the thought of having to tell you this face to face one day, when you've fallen way too deep. I almost lost a friend the same way I am about to lose you. And this is what I fear the most. Please, stop before it's too late for us. We can be really good friends, you know?

Sigh.

2009-10-14T12:05:00.002+08:00

Keep holding on, Just Stay Strong

My timetable for October Semester 2009 (click to enlarge)

My lessons from Monday to Thursday all start at 9am! Which means I have to get out of bed by 7am every day ): My IS lessons on Friday start at 1pm, which according to what I know, are different from people like Alina and Adam who start at 8am. Oh man! I've to find out who has afternoon IS lessons! ):

Then again, I think my timetable allows me to still work night shifts on weekdays, heehee! Which is good, because work = money = no need to worry about bill+food+transport every day! ^^

I'm kinda excited for school because I miss those crazy motherfuckers! Hopefully I can make friends in my IS classes. Tsk, I hate having to mingle and try to make friends.

Oh, something different about this week? I'm not going to club tonight! My sore throat and cough are still very bad, just went to see the doctor last night and I now have shit loads of medicine to clear. Yes, clear. I must finish the entire course. I'll be a walking pill bottle by the end of the week or something. Oh man, this means I wont be clubbing until my next holiday in December, or unless someone decides to celebrate his/her birthday in a club, then maybe I have a chance to go. Hahaha! Someone! Please celebrate your birthday in a club! Haha!

Ben Chan is a very excited boy who just went out to buy his Seiko watch, his mother decided to give him $$$ for his 21st birthday present. That stupid boy, forever crazy over watches. I better work harder because after getting my next pay, I need to buy 3 very important things!

All for different people (: The loves of my life.

2009-10-13T15:05:00.002+08:00

Worked for Eden Salon with Shermin that day!

We started out all excited, even took pictures on our first toilet trip!

And on the second toilet trip, this was how we looked..

By the third toilet trip at the end of the 5 hours, we were already crazy..

In the changing room after work..

I hereby salute DORIS NG XUE MEI for being able to stand and work in fucking high heels for 12 hours straight everyday!! You're my idol lah I swear!!! And thanks for introducng us the job, babe (:

2009-10-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

Blissful ttm, no?

Livejournal soon, people ;)

2009-10-11T13:29:00.003+08:00

Stop these tears

Phone battery went flat last evening. Left my charger at Safra. Fever last night because I stood in a storm with fucking strong and cold wind in the morning. Shivered the entire night. Fucking bad throat. Hurts like mad. Bodyache, headache. Alone at home the whole night. No house phone, no handphone. No means of contacting the outside world. Crying and hoping someone would come visit me and take care of me. But no. No one.

Why was I even hoping?

2009-10-09T15:13:00.002+08:00

And the reason is You

Hello people! Havent been online for days and I feel so lazy to come online already. I made new friends! More about that if I have pictures with them.

Life has been pretty much fucked up because of work. I got scolded by my boss, Wynn, for the first time today because I was an hour late for work. He didnt believe that I forgot I was doing day shift and didnt set my alarm. Like what the hell. Do I have to fucking lie? It's not like I cant find another job even if you fire me. Fuck shit. Oh, whatever.

I've been spending late nights out with friends and I feel happy! Lots of freedom recently, I better not take it for granted. Haha!

Went clubbing at Rebel with Doris and Shermin on Wednesday! It was the first time I clubbed with Doris. It was fun because Doris is such a crazy bitch to party with ^^ But it was shit because... Aiya, let's not talk about unhappy stuff. Bumped into Samuel! Such a coincidence, I had fun with that crazy guy and his funny friends. Check out Shermin's blog, there's this guy who is really fucking hilarious. And like Shermin said, he was really like our entertainment for the night hahaha!

Latest season, brown base with pink highlights, thanks to Doris! Love it!

For you fuckers who want chio hair, you can go look for Doris at the salon she's working at!

Eden Salon

180 Kitchener Road

#B2-33

City Square Mall S(208539)

Email: exoticgroubinc@gmail.com

Tel: 6509 9889

2009-10-04T17:40:00.002+08:00

Shermin Toh I am so happy for you!

Virtual hug for you first, until the next time I meet you, give you real hug okay?

Finally.

Someday, I will too (:

2009-10-04T11:29:00.003+08:00

I'm listening to the radio at work and the song Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden just played and I was swaying to the groove, and tempted to sing. Then I noticed this young boy (the only customer here at the moment) who was playing pool was not even paying any attention to the song. Then I wondered, "What the hell, how can anyone not sing along with this song, it's so nice." Then I realised...

This little motherfucker wasnt even borned when the song came out. Hahahaha! I checked his Ezlink card and saw he was born in 1998 while the song came out in 1996! What the fuck, I feel old.

Anyway, I love this song, it's so catchy. I remember dancing to the song in K2 at the community centre for some performance. Haha! And I remember my dance partner was a fucking cute Malay boy with big eyes called Suharianto (sp?), I even asked my mother whether I was allowed to marry a Malay because of him. She then told me I wont be allowed to eat Bak-Kua if I married a Malay, then I changed my mind. I dislike eating pork but Bak-Kua is just the ultimate. Hahaha!

Lemon Tree - Fool's Garden (1996)

I'm driving around in my car

I'm driving too fast

I'm driving too far

I'd like to change my point of view

I feel so lonely

I'm waiting for you

But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how

I wonder why

Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky

And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree

I'm turning my head up and down

I'm turning turning turning turning turning around

And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

Sing

Da-da-da-da-da-di-da-da

Da-da-da-da-di-da-da

Da-di-di-da

I'm sitting here

I miss the power

I'd like to go out taking a shower

But there's a heavy cloud inside my head

I feel so tired

Put myself into bed

While nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me

Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree

I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy

Baby anyhow I'll get another toy

And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how

I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm turning my head up and down

I'm turning turning turning turning turning around

And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree

And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how

I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see

Is just a yellow lemon-tree

2009-10-01T18:47:00.003+08:00

Ladies' Night at Butter Factory on 300909!

It was Shermin's first visit to a club! I was so excited to bring her. Was supposed to meet Olivia and Cj, but they went to Clarke Quay when I told them the queue was very long at Butter Factory. Turned out that Jovi (Shermin's friend) had a friend who was at the front of the queue, so we managed to get in within 5 minutes!

So sorry, Olivia! ): We could have clubbed together if I didnt panic and called you so fast ): Next week, hao ma? (:

Anyways, Shermin and I decided it would be fun to dress up as twins (similar floral print top, bandage skirt and leggings/stockings) as many people thought we looked alike. And we managed to trick a lot of people. Actually, we didnt even have to. They came up to us asking if we were twins! It was really very fun, we should do this everytime we go clubbing! The first to get tricked was Shermin's own friend, Jovi. He was going to introduce us to his friends so pointed at me and said, "This is my friend, Shermin," then he pointed at Shermin and said, "And this is her friend, Mikoh." Hahahaha! It was hilarious!

I love you(pretend you didnt see this part hahaha), although I like to abuse you

♥

The blur friend of hers who got us mixed up hahaha ;)

Same hairstyle and parting even :P

Let's party again next week when Jessleen comes home, I cannot wait!!!

On a completely different note, fuck. Be a man and prove yourself. Leave my mother alone, I abhor your sympathy-gaining acts. Absolutely disgusted with such lowly actions of yours.